Written by Kristy Graves, a member of our Young Person’s Advisory Council and former youth in care.
My dad and I have never had a very good relationship. Its had it’s high points over the years, and of course some very low ones as well. Often I have chosen not to talk to him because it ends in too many fights and results in too much pain. Right now is one of those times, but regardless of anything, he is still my dad and I love him. I just don’t always have to like him.
In cleaning up my apartment recently, I came across a poem written by my 14-year-old self. I have always found writing to be a therapeutic outlet whether it be diary entries, poems or songs. I don’t remember what ignited this particular entry into my poetry book, but I thought I would share. So without further delay, poetic ramblings of 14-year-old me:
Always trying to be the protector, always the one to get hurt,
loving unconditionally, accepting all mistakes,
getting stabbed time after time, in the back by emotional stakes,
listening to every hurtful word, feeling every cold shouldered glance,
no more will I get hurt, you’re wasting your last chance,
I don’t need the stress, your problem aren’t mine,
I will be stronger, I won’t waste my time,
no more will I dwell on, what has already passed,
no more will I be the troubled girl, the girl always coming in last.
I’m strengthening, my skin’s becoming thick
I’ve realized your games, I know you’re immature and sick.
No more will liquid tears fall, no longer will I weep,
I will endure no more wounds, never again will my heart bleed,
the past few years, with pain my heart has been filled,
I’ve cried a thousand tears, and glistening crimson has been spilled,
my heart taken out, and thrown upon the ground,
my mind messed with, but I took it all without sound.
I will not be used, no more abuse, it all stops here
I am no longer the victim, no more will I cry,
this is the death of a person, and the rebirth into a stronger
No longer will I stand by, and watch my heart get broken
once again my light will shine,
someone new, and with a strength divine.
No more will I be the tail end, of all your childish needs,
No longer will I cry, no longer will I emotionally bleed,
this time I am done,
on this life chapter I close the door,
I am daddy’s girl no more,